When I was a kid, McDonaldland was a magical place. There was Mayor McCheese, Grimace, Captain Crook, French Fry Guys (who Captain Crook once referred to as “mop-heads”), & Officer Big Mac. This crazy cast of characters, led by the inestimable Ronald McDonald himself, was a happy band of hamburger pushers. Every month or so, another TV commercial expounding on the happiness that is the quintessential American meal: A hamburger, fries, and a soft drink. Of course, McDonalds specifically promoted a Big Mac (or Quarterpounder with Cheese), fries and a Coke (no Pepsi, sorry).
Shoot, during President Carter’s malaise period, the only thing really happy was McDonaldland. They even added playgrounds.
Now, some 500 or so “health professionals” have penned a letter to several major newspapers demanding that McDonalds ixnay onaldRay. “We’re all too fat”, they say. “We have no self control”, they say.
“Grow up”, I say.
Last time I looked, the Garmin didn’t take control of my car and force me to drive to McDonalds. With 500 cable TV stations and video games, the face time garnered by Ronnie and the boys is far less than it was even 20 years ago.
These “health professionals” need to get their own life and leave me to mine. What do these busybodies plan to do as an encore? Get rid of the Burger King? Hmmm. Actually, he’s really creepy. Maybe, we make every “fast food” restaurant have a guy in the King suit at every restaurant skulking over the clientele — creeping them out. I give McDonalds, Arbys, BK, Rallys, etc. 6 months under those rules. Then we can all stay at home and make Hamburger Helper. You know the product. It advertises with that little oven-mitt dude that giggles when you tweak him. On second thought, we need to get rid of him, too. And Betty Crocker — that woman’s pushing cakes and brownies. Little Debbie — those snack cakes are dangerous.
Need we say more?